did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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