my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
