He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
