She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
