And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
