Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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