it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
