Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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