I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
