I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
