oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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