It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize