Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
