hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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