I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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