Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
