she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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