i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize