whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
