My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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