I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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