you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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