So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
