right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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