btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
