the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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