Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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