We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize