I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
