i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
