There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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