they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
