I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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