I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
