Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So here I am, sexting at work.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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