I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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