i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?