He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.