I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.