Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
PANTIES FOUND
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
