Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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