I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
