You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So vagazzling was a success
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