is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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