Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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