I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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