How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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