I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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