im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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