i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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