I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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