wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
