yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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