will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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