so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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