weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
