Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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